My father drops me off for the first shift of my summer job at a truck-stop restaurant.
The owner, a woman with permed hair and big earrings, walks me to the dish washing station.
“Job’s easy as pie,” she says, ashing her cigarette in the large square sink molded into the stainless steel counter. “You scrape the food off, give ‘em a rinse and the machine does the rest. Your folks got a dishwasher at home?”
I nod.
“Good girl, you know what you’re doing.” She grabs the fixture hanging over the sink and squeezes the handle. Water blasts against the dirty plates, splashing us both with corn, peas, and gravy. I jump back.
“Grab one of those,” the owner says, pointing to a pile of fabric hanging from a nail on the wall. I don one of the aprons over my cutoff jean shorts and baggy black t-shirt, and I’m transformed into a skinny model in a white dress.
“So pretty,” I say, posing with one hand on my hip.
The owner cracks a grin. “Let me show you the new frozen yogurt machine. Everyone gets one free frozen yogurt per shift, it’s the only thing that’s free, all right? If you wanna burger, you gotta pay for it.”
I do a quick calculation: if burgers are $6.00, I’d be working 1.5 hours just to pay for my lunch, leaving me with only 3.5 hours of pay for my 5 hour shift. Free yogurt sounds pretty good.
A blonde woman pops her head back and says the owner is needed at the office. The blonde waves at me. “Hi hon, I’m Danny, welcome to our little family. Are you a ballerina?”
We both look down at my feet, which are parked together at a 90 degree angle, my right heel connecting to the arch of my left foot.
“No,” I say. “Well yes, I took ballet once but it was a long time ago.”
“You shall be my little ballerina.” She grins, revealing stained teeth.
A bell rings. The short order cook, also a woman, stout and dark-haired, stares at us and bellows, “Order up!”
“Thanks hon!” Danny bumps the swinging door open with her hip and disappears to the dining room side.
The cook puts her hands on her hips and announces to the air, “I’m going on my smoke break. We’re nearly out of plates so you better get busy.”
I set to work, scraping, stacking, and rinsing. I love the sensation of squeezing the sprayer handle and blasting the hot water onto the plates. The dishes stack on plastic trays, which ride along grooves in the steel counter into the sterilizer. I lower the handle, push the big green button, and two minutes later, the machine’s wash cycle is complete. The steamy dishes air-dry quickly.
Over the next few weeks, I take pride in how quickly I clear the massive stacks of dirty dishes. I arrive for my shift, and the girls are screaming for coffee mugs, or forks, or plates, and I have a hot tray ready for them in five minutes flat.
Once my station is clean, I take a frozen yogurt into the break room. Every surface is covered in piles of old newspapers, TV Guide magazines, and ashtrays. My hands are dry from the constant damp and the chemicals in the soaking buckets, so I sit by the window and pick at the layers of peeling skin on my palms.
Some days, the cook and I are joined in the kitchen by the prep cook, an older woman with no teeth. I complain of boredom, so she invites me to help her peel carrots and potatoes. The enzymes in the vegetables stain the dried skin on my hands orange and purple and green.
One hectic Saturday afternoon, after I’ve been there for five weeks, bleached-blonde Danny takes a good long look at me. “Hey little ballerina, how’d you like to wait a few tables?”
I look around. The cook is moving fast, flipping burgers, and swearing to herself.
“Am I allowed?”
“Sure, just take off the apron. Your dishes can wait a bit while you help us out.”
Up front in the restaurant, every table is full of people talking, laughing and smoking.
Danny shows me how to make coffee, hands me a pad of paper, and points me to a table in the corner.
I approach the group of four, pad and pen ready. “Are you ready to place your order?”
The man closest to me stops his conversation. His eyes meet mine for a second, then his gaze drops down to my feet and slowly travels all the way up over my shins, my knobby knees, my straight hips, my waist, my flat chest, my neck, nearly to my eyes, then back down again. He licks his lips.
“That depends, little lady, what’s on the menu?”
I force out a laugh. “The usual stuff,” I say.
He reaches up and grabs my wrist. I let my arm go limp and scan the room for Danny, but she’s pouring coffee and talking to people.
“Let her be, you old pervert,” says the woman sitting across the table from the man. She cuffs him on the shoulder. My hand is released.
They begin to give me their orders. I step back, just out of grabbing range, and write on my notepad. My cheeks are burning. A little teasing must come with the territory, and I’ll have to carry myself with a little attitude, like Danny does.
My writing is too big for the tiny pad of paper, and I use three sheets of paper to write down the meals and drinks for four people.
“We’ll have your food out in a jiffy,” I announce with a cheery tone. I march back through the coffee station and all the way into the kitchen.
“I have an order,” I say to the cook. “Do I just put it on that thing?” I reach up to the rotating silver carousel. “Which side do the new ones go on?”
“Jesus Christ get out of my way! Get back on the other side, at the pass.” She rips the papers from my hand.
Back out on the floor, I make fresh coffee and bring the glass pot around for refills. I scarcely finish one loop before the table I started with has drained their brown mugs. The people smile as I make my way to them with coffee in hand.
By the end of my shift, my feet are sore, but I have something to show for it: ten dollars in tips. Dad picks me up after work and congratulates me on my windfall. “Five weeks and you already got your first promotion! Pretty soon you’ll be the breadwinner, and I can retire early.”
The next day, he drops me off twenty minutes early. I’m wearing a skirt and blouse, plus makeup.
“Hon, we need to talk,” Danny says, leading me back to the dishwashing station. “Don’t take it personally, but … you’re back to dishes only from now on.”
“But, why?” I try to stick my hands in my pockets, but my skirt doesn’t have any.
“I don’t think you’re cut out for bein’ a waitress, hon.” She cocks her head to the side.
“What did I do wrong? I’m still learning, I swear I can do better.”
Danny adjusts her watch and bangles. “You can’t leave the food at the pass. When the bell rings, you have to be on the ball and grab the food and bring it to the table, before it gets cold.”
I walk quietly to the yogurt machine, make myself an oversized cone, and hide in the break room. I stare out the window at the trees and scruffy bushes. Don’t you dare cry, not at work, I tell myself. The frozen yogurt is tasteless.
The next day, I phone the restaurant an hour before I’m supposed to start my shift. I ask for the owner and tell her I’m sorry, but I can’t come in.
“Is there something wrong?” she asks.
“School’s starting soon,” I say.
She groans and tells me I can pick up my last pay cheque from the office any time. Dad drives me down. My body feels heavy, and I don’t want to go into the restaurant, so Dad goes in to the office and gets the cheque for me.
His face looks pensive on his way back.
“Now you’ve had your first job,” he says, handing me the envelope. “I want to say it gets better, but mostly it’s like this.”